Before you argue or claim that Moses of biblical times was not insecure, let’s unpack the many layers of Moses’ life that produced deep emotional wounds.
Moses had been hidden from his birth; his voice was probably stifled every time he cried. This has a way of affecting any child and may have been the root cause of his stuttering and anger issues, having a voice that he was not encouraged to use at a very young age.
Moses was raised in two worlds but belonged to neither fully. He was born to the Jews but was weaned by his mother on behalf of the princess. He was then raised in the palace, but could never fit in with the Jews or the Egyptians. This is enough to affect his sense of self- worth and identity. He was neither a true prince nor a slave.
Moses grew up in the palace but had no real influence or authority. He could not command guards in the palace, and he had little or no influence over his people before the burning bush.
My speculation for Moses’s lack of influence in Israel, even though he tried to help them where he could (killing an Egyptian slave master who maltreated a Jew), is probably because the people of Israel may have had some form of resentment against Moses, the only survivor of a generation of babies. He was meant to be dead, but was actually alive as a well-hidden secret.
Moses must have wondered about the meaning of his life, the purpose of his existence. He must have been kind, charismatic, but secluded and lonely. It must have been this loneliness and seclusion that allowed him to thrive as a shepherd and live 40 years in the wilderness, unwilling to interact with people. It may also have even been one of the reasons he didn’t want to return to Egypt to lead people, and one of the reasons he enjoyed going up the mountain to be with God for many Days at a time.
Not having opportunities to socialise and build relationships with those
around him must have given room to many suppressed emotions, probably bred anger and a lack of confidence in Moses, but his large heart and need to help people made him kill an Egyptian and bury him when he could have simply resolved a conflict.
Moses wanted to connect with people but couldn’t. he probably wanted his people to be free, but did not know how to go about it. This is why it was easy to run away from Egypt, not for fear of Pharaoh but at the first sign of rejection by his people.
Maybe you are like Moses, with so much heart and potential but little support, a troubled or questionable background and confusion about your purpose, identity or the path you need to take.
I think we are all like Moses in some ways, knowing and desiring to do or be someone great, but sometimes lacking the language, leadership or knowing the path to follow towards our dreams.
It’s confusing to be in the palace and feel like a slave because your family and identity are rooted in a history of poverty, slavery or oppression. You come into certain privileges and notice discrimination that infuriates you, but you have no real power or influence to make immediate change or a lasting difference.
Maybe there’s a situation in your life that you are tired of and desperately want to break out of, but you seem to lack the resources, guidance or even willpower.
Moses may have thought he would die in the wilderness, that he had made the biggest mistake of his life after killing an Egyptian and did not deserve a shot at destiny or greatness. But his purpose and life path were still intact.
It may have taken 40 years, but they were 40 years of process, training, data, and experience needed to lead more than 2 million people in the wilderness.
Moses may not have been a warrior, but his skill set was exactly what Israel needed at the time: a diplomat who understood the culture of both Israel and Egypt, and someone who could survive harsh terrain while leading and caring for both fragile and stubborn animals.
Just like Moses, you have a unique skill set that is custom-built for your calling, even if you cannot name it, or if those are not traits that are celebrated in your community right now.
The ability to communicate with the elderly, comfort children and inspire
former slaves to become men of war while providing a platform for order and community is something no school or master class could teach Moses.
It could only be gained by the life experiences of Moses in the palace as a prince and in the wilderness as a shepherd.
Your life experiences, mistakes and journey so far create a unique and
customised life path, curated just for you. Stop looking at what you lack, and start celebrating who you are, regardless of what your past may have been up to this moment.
In moments of insecurity, remember that you are called, you are loved, and you are destined for the opportunities coming your way.
1. Choose to serve like Moses served Jethro and helped his daughters
when they were in trouble.
2. Choose to observe your environment, be open to change and willing to grow. Moses saw the burning bush and approached it; he didn’t run
away from something new and different.
3. When opportunity, platform and destiny appointments come, don’t say ‘Send someone else’. Moses would have missed an opportunity to make history. Not everyone has the privilege of getting the almighty God to persuade them to live their life’s biggest calling.
The opportunity may be scary; you may feel inadequate, but say yes. Be willing to step up, find your Aaron (a community, a friend, a brother with the same passion as you, or simply sent to help you). It is amazing how the right support, encouragement, and good company can kill the seeds of insecurity.
You may be like Moses, needing support, or you may be Aaron, willing to serve and be loyal to someone’s dream. Aaron may lack many skills, but he has the voice you need and is willing to follow you to Pharaoh’s palace, confront the insecure Israelites and walk through the Red Sea with you.
Stop doubting yourself, dear Moses. You have been given everything you need to become who you need to become and to do what you are born to do. Trust yourself, trust the season you are in, remain open to growth, and be hopeful that the best season of your life is still ahead.
Rooting for you always,
Cheers!
