I’M A MURDERER! And this isn’t a prank or a song like “I shot the sheriff…”
No seriously, I am. This post is my confession. You don’t believe me? Read till the very end before you decide. I AM A MURDERER! Why am I confessing on the World Wide Web? Because I know you are more forgiving than the police.
It was late at night; I was home alone. I was just getting home from church, ‘all high in the spirit’. Suddenly I had this feeling I couldn’t shake off that I was being followed into my home. I had looked over my shoulder at least ten times between the gate and my house. It was dark and I had forgotten to turn the front lights on since I left very early. The darkness hung like a shadow around me. Usually I’m comforted by darkness, it enables you to ‘be’ and ‘do’ without the thought of judgmental nosy neighbours watching your life like reality TV… now back to my story.
The darkness wasn’t my friend that night, and since that day we’ve had a shaky relationship. I understand that in South Africa, if a man dies, the police couldn’t be bothered, simply because the man is already dead. But if you report a threat when the person is still alive, the police will be on your tail like a death hound. I had received threats before, but they were nothing serious. Besides, who in Nigeria would take threats seriously? So that night, I was left with little or no choice but to take matters into my hands…
As I turned the doorknob to enter the house, I heard a voice loud and clear. So, clear it shook me to my roots. As he drew nearer, I scanned the environment for the nearest effective weapon I could use to defend myself. The neighbours might be too late if I screamed and there wasn’t enough time to call the police. “Lord help me…”
As he closed in on me and tried to overpower me, I saw a bottle lying close by. All I could think of was staying alive and making sure this man ‘failed’ in whatever his ‘purpose’ was. He had backed me to a corner and angled me in a way that I couldn’t scream for help. Luckily my ‘good right arm’ wrestled free and smashed the bottle against the wall and like I’d seen in the movies, struck my attacker right on his skull centre. I pushed him off me as I watched him bleed. It wasn’t till I was standing at least a meter away did I remember to breathe.
Breathing heavily, I smiled with relief. It’s weird to have felt relief instead of fear. What was even weirder was that I felt a sense of triumph, victory, and intoxicating strength. I felt like a serial killer who kills for passion and the most dangerous part, was I wanted to do it again…
“I could do this every day” I thought to myself. There was no need to hide the body. The police would rule it as self-defence. The neighbours finally came out; someone had already called the police. It so happened that they were patrolling the area and were there in seconds. Before they stared questioning me, they took an investigative look at the body, trying to identify him. His ID said boldly ‘NEGATIVE EMOTIONS’. He was a senior officer at ‘FEAR AND DEPRESSION INCORPORATED’.
No wonder I felt so relieved! And yes, I killed him! I’m a murderer, a proud one at that. I don’t think fear and depression will be sending any more agents to try me anytime soon, because they knew that a murderer is on the loose!
Never let any negative emotion overpower you. Kill that thought. Don’t listen to the voice that says ‘you’ll never make it’, “they don’t hire people like you”, and “you’ll never have a baby or get married” … do what I did; kill him!
Success always begins in your thoughts, there’s too much negativity in the world to oblige them the privacy of your mind.
I’m a Murderer of NEGATIVE EMOTIONS, care to join me?