SOMETIMES LEADERSHIP IS POTTY TRAINING: LESSONS FROM MY TWO-YEAR-OLD

I always thought that on the day my child had his second birthday, he would automatically not need a nappy anymore, and he would miraculously know when he needed to go to the bathroom to relieve himself with little or no effort on my part.

Silly me, because at almost three years of age, I was still on ‘diaper’ duty.

As a nursing mother, I dreaded the task of following my child around to clean up accidents, whether it was wiping up poo or pee stains from the floor. I was so afraid of this task that I almost delayed the potty-training process altogether.

I went online researching quick and ‘painless’ ways to get it done, but none proved effective. I felt heaven was playing a trick on me, or trying to test or grow my motherly patience as a virtue through the potty-training process.

I spoke to my ‘little prince’, explaining what potty training was and what I expected him to do. There was very little progress, so against my better judgment, I yelled at him, hoping he would get the message if I said it louder. When that didn’t work, I gave what I thought was great advice and instruction at the time.

When that did not work, there were days when I pleaded. I ‘encouraged’ him to stop using the ‘floor’ as a toilet and run to the potty whenever he felt he had to relieve himself, but nothing seemed to be working.

After 6 months of frustration, I consulted a toddler expert for advice, and she shared the ‘sad’ news: “Don’t worry, give it 12-14months of training and if by 4 years of age he still has not learnt, then you should be worried.” What?!

It got so bad that almost every day my son would chant to me after he’d had a bath and was getting dressed, “Mummy, don’t poo on your body, go to the toilet…” (Not that he would take his advice).

I finally stopped getting frustrated and angry – most of the time- when he made a mess, and even sometimes laughed about how he was ‘stinking up’ the place.

Then one day, out of the blue, he said for the first time, “Mummy, I want to go to the toilet…” and he did! He still mistook the floor for the potty some more times after that, but for me, it was a breakthrough.

I learnt some valuable lessons from this potty journey, and I want to share them with you:

1. Sometimes, on the journey to change, instruction is not enough. People may not change because you tell them to, not because they do not wish to obey, but because they may not yet have the capacity for the required level of obedience. People need guidance or coaching and should be allowed to grow from their mistakes patiently until they finally get it right.
2. The right effort may not always produce immediate or fantastic results; even when you seem to be doing everything right, some things take time. How much? Just like a tree, it varies from plant to plant and person to person. I guess we’ll never know an exact date for people’s growth; we can only hope and estimate.
3. When you give up on people, you’ll never have the chance to savour the victory of seeing them grow and change. Sometimes, you have to hang in there, envision what you want to achieve and what they can become in the future, and let that vision keep you going.

Do you have a crazy potty-training story, a life lesson, or a leadership tip you’d like to share? Let me know about it in the comments.

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