Shadows are beams of darkness that are direct products of light.
Shadows ‘shine’ brightest in the brightest of lights; they are deemed in the darkness.
Shadows exist in different forms, both real and in our minds, souls, emotions or even habits.
What does a habit shadow look like?
I once had a friend in university who was very particular about arrangements.
All her clothes had to be hung facing the same direction, her pens had to be placed in a particular way, and her clothes had to be worn in a particular order and manner.
But, her room was always a mess! There would be dirty dishes, unclean bedding, shoes scattered everywhere. She could never bring herself to clean it up, but she was very particular even in her mess.
People with impatience could be very empathetic, they are impatient with timing and process, but can put themselves in people’s shoes when they are going through difficult times.
People who are very patient and carry the burdens of others tend to implode their emotions on the inside and will one day erupt. Patient people also tend to be patient with everyone but hard on themselves.
Those who act strong and are always ready to help others never know how to ask for help, they claim to be fine even when they are struggling, and yet become bitter or resentful at some point because no one stepped up to help them.
These are the shadows of habits that could be the brightest in our lives. Sometimes our greatest
strengths can also be the door to our greatest weaknesses.
It is unwise to think that because someone is very successful in a particular area, they have their
lives figured out and they make no mistakes.
People who are referred to as geniuses often have very weak social skills or strong character flaws because they were praised for being good in one area that they may have failed to grow other areas of their lives, and even been excused for it.
Shadows are not caused only by our strengths.
Shadows could be the aftereffect of beautiful situations. Great blessings often come with great responsibilities, which can sometimes be
overwhelming and exhausting.
You have CEOs or top business performers who rise financially, because they sacrificed time they would have spent with their families.
Or, people who built great families but sacrificed certain financial gains. Legends, founders and very successful people could feel burdened by the people depending on them for their source of livelihood, as their boss or benefactor, because they have reached a certain level of wealth.
Those with newborn babies may be congratulated, celebrated and maybe envied; but that ‘bundle’ of joy comes with sleepless nights, endless nappy changing, loads of laundry, bliss and pure exhaustion.
That is the perfect example of the valley of shadows, being blessed, grateful, but also dissatisfied, overwhelmed and somewhat burdened by your current circumstances.
When you feel stuck and there seems to be no relief or respite in sight, remember that shadows exist because there is a light shining. Here are some extra things you should be doing:
Adjust your perspective. See things in the light of gratitude. Remember the journey, choices and
sacrifices that brought you to this point and be grateful for both the good and the bad, hopeful for
better in the future.
Adjust your priorities. Ask yourself what matters most to you. Who matters most to you? What
would you want your life to look like in 10 years, or 20 years? It may be difficult to do in the beginning, or even pretentious, but write down the answers. Then take steps and activities that align with your priorities.
Adjust Your Confession. A simple statement can shift the brain from hopeless to solution mode,
from weak to rest mode. The brain does not know the truth or reality; it only believes what you say.
A simple statement like ‘This is not the end’, “I’m going to be okay”, “This too will pass”, ‘I will find a
way’, ‘A solution will come’, ‘Everything will be fine’ can be spoken by you to yourself in every situation, even if you do not feel that way.
Fight the temptation every day to become a captive of your emotions.
Your feelings are valid, but they are not always sincere or valid.
A feeling of helplessness can easily shift to hope with a good meal and a night’s sleep.
You can change feelings of rejection or abandonment from others to self-empowerment by learning to enjoy your own company and not be at the mercy of others.
When in pain and self reflection, retreat and time apart does not bring the healing you need, choose to look beyond yourself.
Lasting joy comes from serving and helping others. A simple audit of your wardrobe, giving clothes to those who need it, buying groceries for a family, volunteering in an activity will do wonders for your emotions, confidence and self esteem.
Find a way to serve or help someone in need, and be a healer from the wisdom of your wounds.
Resist the temptation to always be reached out to, practice reaching out and asking for help.
If no one comes running, show up for yourself.
Remind yourself of your hopes and dreams, lean into the power that lies dormant within you, the ‘force’ that is always with you; it whispers every morning when the sun rises and caresses you with gentle hugs every time the sun sets.
We are never truly alone in this world. There is always an unseen hand that helps us, holds us up and guides us when we need it the most.
In conclusion, refuse to give up and quit.
Rest, pause, delegate or cancel every unnecessary
activity that weighs you down, give yourself permission to breathe.
Show grace and mercy to your body, your mind and your decisions.
I’m rooting for you, sending all the light, peace and joy in the universe your way.
In case you forgot, shadows are temporary. Things will get better, keep your head up, and perhaps
your legs too in rest and conscious pause till this season passes… You got this!
