Being single has its ups and downs, just like any stage of life. Sometimes, you are the envy of many married couples; other times, you are the laughing stock of the family, especially when you are at a cousin’s wedding who is 10 years younger than you.
I must say this to the ladies, especially: being single is not a curse. It doesn’t mean you are not good enough, that you are not pretty enough, or that you are unlovable. Marriage may look like a necessary step or a validation or proof of maturity or womanhood to some people in society, but being single should not make you question your worth or value.
In the context of this post, being single refers not only to those who can’t get dates or ‘toasters’, but also includes anyone who isn’t married.
Engaged, dating, ‘testing the waters,’ or whatever term you wish to call it, as long as you are not married before God and the law, you are single in my dictionary.
And to those who have been living together for years and now have children together, but no
Wedding, shame on you! You are practicing kidnapping because you have taken someone’s
Daughter, into your house without fulfilling the laws of the land, her family, and God.
Don’t tell me, ‘Marriage is just a piece of paper’ or ‘we are learning to live together to see if this relationship can work,’ or ‘I am not ready to get married yet.’
What are you doing now that is different from what you will do in marriage? Engaged couples who choose to live together before marriage, in order to get to know each other better, may still find that even after 5 years of cohabitation, they do not fully understand themselves. So do the right thing and wait until you say “I do.”
It may seem like it’s taking you a while to become hitched, but this process provides you time to grow, mature, and find purpose. It is better to marry late and stay happily married than to marry early and end up abused or divorced.
We have heard the saying, “It is better to be alone than in bad company.” I firmly believe that being single is preferable to being in a marriage that leaves you feeling trapped and lifeless. A broken relationship is better than a broken home, so if there are signs of an unhappy marriage already showing in your relationship, please have the courage to walk away. It is better to let go of the ‘good’ so the ‘best’ can come.
Whether married or single, your destiny, life purpose, and assignment are not on hold or delayed, so spend time focusing on making an impact, living life, and being the best version of yourself—a version you will be proud of in the next 10–20 years.
Spend time building friendships, read marriage books, and become more accountable to family members, a mentor or spiritual parents—trust me, you will need it.
How are you maximizing singlehood? Please share your thoughts in the comments or send me a message on all social media platforms using the handle “Tomi Sule-Emmanuel.”
I can’t wait to hear from you.
Be happy, love life, and always wish you the best!
