Most of us have heard about or read the story of Snow White, the orphan princess who has a wicked queen stepmother who is so jealous that she tries to kill Snow White.
The wicked queen had a magical mirror that she frequently spoke to, saying, ‘Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?’ or, in modern-day English, ‘Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, is the girl next door prettier than me?’
There is so much to analyse and unpack from this story, including the destructive power of comparison, the dangers of envy, and low self-esteem disguised as power and greed. However, our focus is on the positive powers of a mirror.
In today’s world, almost everyone has a personal mirror or access to one. At the very least, you have a camera on your phone with which you can see your reflection or image when you take a ‘selfie’.
It is important and healthy to take a ‘mental selfie’—what I would call an honest review and reflection of yourself, your goals, your habits, and your flaws from time to time.
Not in the way the wicked queen stepmother did it, comparing yourself with another person who you are afraid may be better than you, but to compare yourself with the best and future version of yourself.
It is important to take time out for self-reflection more frequently than in December, January, or on your birthday.
It does not have to be a full and total review; it can be broken down into chunks and phases, like an emotional review: ‘How have I been feeling lately?’ ‘What are my energy levels like?’ ‘Am I giving or getting the best from the relationships in my life?’
And then you can do a mental review with questions like ‘What have I been feeding my mind lately?’, ‘When last did I read a self-improvement book or article?’ or what lessons have I applied from the books I’ve read recently?’, ‘What can I do to help my mental state or to be more alert during the day?’
You can do a ‘habit’ review, a marriage review—not of your spouse—our brains already do that for us every day—but of your marriage contributions.
You should do an academic review, a career review, a ‘skill’ or talent review, or a spiritual review—anything you want to grow and improve in your life. However, it has to be about you and what you are responsible for, not anyone else.
Even if it’s about your company, family, or organisation, it must not be to cast blame or shift responsibility; it must be something you have done or can do and will take responsibility for.
Self-review is important at different stages and phases of our lives. It’s important to review your day, your week, your month, and your year, but also the parts you never dared to review but that are important, like your finances.
Review your relationship with yourself by asking questions like ‘How kind or gracious are you to yourself?’ ‘Do you consider yourself strong, smart, good looking or brave’… if not why not? And what can you do to improve?
Starting today, look in the mirror with a new sense of awe and discovery. Do not criticise yourself or become arrogant; instead, give a good objective review beyond your physique or image.
Whenever you put the physical mirror down, take up the mirror of your mind, the mirror of your emotions or whatever area you want to review and dare to unpack whatever is going on with sincerity, care and kindness.
I would love to hear from you: Which part of your life will you be reviewing? How is your self-review going? How has this podcast helped you… You can comment, send me an email, or contact me via our social media pages on Facebook, ‘X’, or Instagram with the handle Tomi Sule Emmanuel.
